Well little guy, you’ve certainly changed our lives. Friends, family, and total strangers told us
you would, yet we held on to a sliver of belief that our lives would be more or
less the same. And then you came,
certainly not without a fair bit of drama, and proved us wrong. Your birth and first few weeks were stressful,
and your temperament didn’t make our new family dynamic any easier. Your dad and I really struggled those first
few months. We held strong as a team but
we resented how much you complicated our previously happy and undemanding
existence. We felt lost and a little bit
alone until we started talking to people who said they, too, had struggled
during the newborn phase. Why had no one
mentioned that the first few months of life-with-baby weren’t necessarily the
magical time others experienced?
Although we were fiercely protective of you from the moment you were
born, we never seemed to be good enough parents to make you stop crying. Self doubt, frustration, and sleep
deprivation interfered with the seemingly instant bond it seems some parents
have with their babies. These were real
feelings that we didn’t want to share, acknowledging fully that our innate
selfishness was hindering our ability to bond with you. I’m so thankful for the friends and family
that rallied around us as we struggled, by telling us we were good enough and
you weren’t going to be scarred forever by the hours you cried, and giving us
hope that things would be easier as time went on. Our friend Nancy suggested that although it
was fine and maybe necessary to consciously mourn our old life, it was also
time to move on as the new family we had created. She put it so simply, but the comment caused
a shift in our thinking that eventually led to a real acceptance… Life wasn’t
the same, but that was okay.
And then, at four months, we started feeling less like
failures as your crying ebbed. You
started sleeping a little bit, giving all of us needed rest. And then you smiled, and our hearts started
to melt. Over the course of the next few
weeks, we began to think of you truly as a son.
We are truly in love with
you. Whereas before we lamented our
newly complicated life, neither of us can now imagine a life without you. As I’m writing this today, on your
half-birthday, my heart absolutely swells thinking of your toothless grin, your
amazing baby smell, and how you look at me with your gorgeous brown eyes as you
nurse in the evening. Your dad and I
laugh at how little we get done when you’re awake, not always because we’re
unable, but rather are unwilling to miss any minute of your antics. You seem to do or discover something new
every day, and neither of us wants to miss a thing!
That’s not to say there haven’t been bumps in the road. You started sleeping through the night at
four months, but then at five started waking up every couple hours. We were incredibly frustrated and once again
sleep deprived. Long story short, turns out you weren’t trying to manipulate
us, you were just HUNGRY. The stress
from the international move and your delicious habit of sleeping for nine
straight hours had combined to drastically reduce my milk supply and poor you
had actually lost a couple ounces in your fifth month. We met with a fantastic lactation counselor
and pediatrician and once we started feeding you a whole lot more, you started
smiling a whole lot more! You quickly made
up all the missed calories and have now returned to the 75th
percentile. Even better, you’ve returned
to sleeping an eight-hour stretch. Never
mind that we now have to squeeze your chunky thighs into your sleepers… :D
And speaking of sleep (as we tend to way too often!), you
seem to LOVE naps. You took 48-minute
naps for the first five months of your life, until the lactation counselor
suggested I start ignoring all the books (which I advise every breastfeeding
new mom to do, quite honestly, because every book assumes all breastfeeding
babies can get enough milk to go four hours, something actually quite unnatural
for lots of mom/chunker teams) that suggest a four-hour Eat/Play/Sleep
routine. Your milk transfer tended to be
about 3.5 ounces, which wasn’t enough for you to last more than one 45-minute
cycle (after playing) without waking up hungry! We fed you before a nap and you ‘magically’ slept
1.5 hours. And have done so ever
since. Putting you down for naps used to
involve an intricately choreographed routine but now when you start to show
signs of being tired we literally walk to your room, put you in an extra layer
of clothes, cuddle you for about 30 seconds, and then lay you tummy-down in
your crib. Sometimes you babble for a few minutes and flip from side to side,
other times you don’t move one bit from the position you plopped down in. You never cry, though, and seem to love the
calm of your crib.
Your personality is really starting to shine these days. You seem to know exactly what you want, and
are finding ways to communicate your feelings.
You’re feisty, and get frustrated that you can’t always do what you want. We leave you on your tummy despite your irritated
grunts because you’re so close to figuring out how to scoot. You get up on all fours and rock back and
forth, occasionally face planting into the carpet. You sit up on your own until a toy gets a bit
too interesting and you fall over reaching for it. Your absolute favorite activities are trying
to talk over us as we have conversations, swinging on the hammock, jumping in
your bouncer, smiling at pretty ladies and other kids, and of course
EATING! You’ve eagerly consumed avocado,
banana, chicken stock, pear, peach, apple, carrot, squash, egg, cheese, tomato,
and little tastes of whatever we’re eating.
So far, broccoli is the only food that you’ve been hesitant about, so
we’ll wait a bit and try again later. We’re trying to get you introduced to any
and everything while you’re still getting a good bit of breastmilk, because the
latest research has shown that may reduce food allergies. But you know what? We’re just doing the best we can, because
advice from research seems to change faster than we can (or can’t??) give you
peanut butter! Bailey helps clean you up
no matter what you’ve tried to eat, and you can’t get enough of her!
Since moving back to the States, you’ve been able to meet
almost all of your extended family.
Grammy and Pawpaw Sheally so kindly let us live with them for a couple
months while we were getting settled in Davidson. They are always so excited to see you and
barely even say hello to your dad and me when we go to their house
anymore! Grammy gets cuddles and you
give Pawpaw smiles even when you’re not giving them to anyone else. You’re really comfortable at their house, which
is great because you’ve been staying with them a day a week as your dad and I
start back to work.
Grandma and Grandpa Schmidt welcomed us for a week at their
house when we first came back to the US and then we all went on a great
adventure to Great-aunt Kay and Great-uncle Ed’s house for the Schmidt family
reunion and a weekend at the Wisconsin Dells.
Great-grandma Wais held you for a good bit, as did everyone else. Your dad and I got to do all sorts of fun
things together while you were being entertained… we rode jet skis and went on
a boat and even watched a spectacular fireworks show. You weren’t even the youngest one there,
because our cousin Kristen and Justin brought their 3-week old Lylah. A bunch of us went from the reunion up to
the Wisconsin Dells to play on the waterslides and had a bit of an adventure
when dad almost lost Aunt Kay’s car keys, but that’s a story for later!
When we were back in North Carolina, Auntie Stephi came in
from Seattle and we spent an afternoon with her family initiating you into the
Vasiloff clan. You loved them all, so
much so that you thought napping was completely out of the question.
Grandma and Grandpa came to see you again right before your
half-birthday, and delivered all sorts of things to dad from his childhood. Maybe we’ll keep some of his Starting Lineup
collectables for you, so we can regale you with stories about sports greats
from our generation.
We met Aunt Colleen in Charleston when we drove down to pick
up the car dad had shipped back from England.
It was weeks late, and ended up arriving on the weekend that Uncle Cal
was out of town, so you still hadn’t met him until he came up to Charlotte the
following week. Uncle Cal was so sweet
with you, and brought you a pair of Carhardts to match his work outfit!
Next week you get to meet the rest of your family in the Adirondacks!
